Thursday, February 24, 2011

Salivating over Free Cooking Magazines

Every time I read a cooking magazine or even look at the pages of freshly sliced avocado or perfectly cooked shrimp I get so hungry. I do not subscribe or buy this magazine it is a free trial issue because I do subscribe to Coastal Living and Health, girls gotta dream and stay fit! But it got me thinking about the things in life I did not subscribe to but have somehow automatically become recipient of.
Like an old male college friend of mine calling me and and asking me about my dating life which I never really share because as of late there is not much news on that front. Instead of reciprocating this non-sharing of information he just delves right into his fresh stories of who he's been copulating with etc.
I have let this "friendship" go on too long and it has become quite toxic for me. In fact the last time he saw me which was Halloween he gasped when he saw me and asked if I had been lifting weights or trying to bulk up. He has taken it upon himself to give me his shallow male view of what I need to do to myself to attract more men. Which I could careless about at this point in my dating career.
I no longer have to find a man irresistably attractive in order to want to go out on a date with him because luckily enough I have realized that some of the greatest men in the world may not have been blessed with A+ looks. And it is more than enough to have a really smart man that makes me laugh, think, and appreciates who I am that will win me over more than anything else in this whole entire world!
He this friend has not gotten to that point yet. He is a 37 year old professional who is looking for a perfectly slim Barbie doll type of woman who has a career even though he wants her to stay home with their children he plans on having her produce as soon as they get married.
Friends I do need, the more the merrier, but friends that make me feel bad about myself because they view the world as a mediocre type cast facility for using people to copulate with - that I dont need.
Ugh if I could just figure out a way to politely tell him to leave me the hell alone. Good luck to me. Please feel free to comment on any similar situation you may have had or any advice.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

A lovely soul

I have a great friend on this earth.
We have lived together a couple times and propelled each other to new heights of learning about ourselves and the world around us. We know just what to do to make each other laugh and when its time to laugh. We ponder together over miles and miles about the importance of our roles in the world.  We remind each other of just how little the critic that hates us opinion matters. When we can pour our hearts out no more we flip the switch together.
She takes the pencil out of my hand and sketches a bigger world where my dreams can come true. Even though she knows my biggest fears she would never use them against me. When her heart hurts so does mine. Even though we are both still spring chickens, there are no gurantees, she knows if I go first she will speak at my funeral. I recently expressed how a huge new fear had emerged, that at my funeral it would not be a reflection of who I was as a person. I told her to wear something that we would wear out together to have a drink maybe a boa for dramatic effect. I wish this because life should be full of surprises. If I ever have to stand up at her funeral I will tell them of her love for everyone and everything. Her curiosity about the world, her jubilance in relaying facts and fun information about our world to the readers of various publications her articles have been printed in. I will tell her story on this earth and how she made it a much better place to live by just being herself.
I will tell a story of a girl I moved in with in college that attempted to make hot cocoa with milk in the coffee maker and eventually made better cookies than I did. A girl who never stopped dreaming big, kicking butt and taking names. And a girl who gave me one of the best presents ever given by being a real true friend! Denise K. James thank you for being you and no one else and for doing it your way!