Tuesday, October 12, 2010

A man and a bug

The most new and exciting thing to happen in my life so far is picking up a couple of shifts at my friends Moms liquor store.
This liquor store just happens to be on Main street, in a very interesting little town called Pickens, SC. I love it because it brings me into contact with people that ordinarily I would not be so lucky to share personal space with.
My favorite customer that I have met so far is the King of his trailer park that he owns and raises the finest crop of okra for miles around. His okra plants even had a story published about them by the local newspaper! Seriously his plants were so tall that he had to climb up a foot stool just to reach some of the tender okra blooms. So needless to say he is quite a mid fifty something year old country boy catch round here.
The first day I met him he walked right in and just stood back staring at my blooms and remarked several times how beautiful I was. The first meeting also included him giving me his number so in case I ever needed anything at all.
One trip to the store was not enough for this man on this first day of meeting and I suppose he feared he had not made a big enough impression on the first go round. Upon the mans second entrance into the store he wasted no time and walked right up to the counter and begin to tell me about how he loved going out to dinner and would take me anywhere I could possibly want to go.
This was about the time when I noticed a bug crawling up his shirt towards his big fluffy silver beard. Of course I tell him he has a bug crawling on him so he takes one hand up and searches it out.
As quickly as he finds what appeared to be a pretty big size brown German cockroach he smashes it with his pudgy fingers and inserts into his shirt pocket like it was just another everyday occurrence. Now if that isn't a man who can take care of the situation I don't reckon I know one! Unfortunately the older I get my gag reflex isn't what it used to be so there no doubt in my mind I would get sick everywhere if I had to spend more than five minutes with this true Pickens County character!
In the future, if I ever find myself needing a country boy who can survive I got his number somewhere - I think....


  1. hahahhaha im laughing and grossed out at the same time!!!!

  2. oh my god! A COCKroach; that's so fucking freudian! & then he pockets the bugger! love it

  3. i wonder if they are good fried? (With okra on the side, of course)

  4. I would kinda like to taste his Okra....
    hope there are no cockroaches in it..?

  5. Alice that is some good writing. You really have an articulate rhythem. Love the, "BLOOMS" line.